The Principle of Connecting:
Most of us want to know how to connect better with others in relationships of every kind, including business relationships. We often feel the desire to connect, but sadly realize that our attempts have not truly been successful. However, we can all experience consistently satisfying connections when we understand the hidden dynamics by which they are ruled.
Connecting occurs when one is simultaneously intra-connected and inter-connected.
Intra-connection is the connection of one to oneself.
Inter-connection is the connection of with others.
These must occur at the same time, although the intra-connection is the foundation of inter-connection, and must be cultivated in order for connection to really take place.
Imagine that our attempts to connect with others are like an iceberg.
The tip of the iceberg represents what we say.
The foundation of the iceberg, the base that holds the tip above the surface of the ocean, is how we feel when we say what we say.
The feeling beneath the words provides an emotional current that gets infused within the words as they are spoken.
The reason why we feel as we do is the point of origin of the feeling that becomes infused into our attempt to connect.
A great majority of the time, people are not aware of the true reason that gives birth to their feelings. Because we mentally attach a reason to the feeling based on past conditioning and programming, that reason no longer reflects accurately who we are and what we desire in the present moment.
Interestingly enough, the tip of the iceberg is approximately 8% of the total formula of connecting. The remaining 92% are the foundation of the iceberg, the part that is underneath the water. Although we may not perceive this 92% with our five senses, we feel it through the multi-sensory dimension of who we are.
A great question to now ask yourself is “What is getting in the way of me being intra-connected?” As you ponder this question, here is a wonderful concept to embrace: You do not have to create connection with others. Such connection already exists. Therefore, your responsibility is simply to remove any emotional or spiritual debris that is getting in its way.
To express it in medical terms, we have become de-myelinated emotionally. Myelin is a substance that surrounds many vital nerve pathways within our bodies. It is like the insulation surrounding an electrical wire, functioning to assure that the electricity is only delivered to the place where we wish to make use of it. What we must do is re-myelinate the emotional pathways that conduct the natural, pre-existing sense of connection between our personal and social selves and our higher Selves.
In essence we just have to let go of whatever may be getting in the way of communicating from the standpoint of who we already are. As we do, we begin to notice that our sense of connection to others becomes easy to feel, and we conduct all our relationships within the shelter of that ease.
By Michael Williams